I have always been aware of the fact that you can cross paths with special people in life. But when you reside in a city like Manhattan, those rarities become more valuable. It feels like it makes those select few that much more special, because there are so many people in this city to choose from. Someone that I look up to has reinspired me to write.
I recently opened up a new door in my life. I started singing for Model Jon, who also produces some of the most amazing music any of you will ever hear. For years I have hid my voice under music, or behind closed doors. But I finally stood up and started to break through a few months ago at a laundromat with J in NYC (so cliche, right?). It's scary and exciting at the same time. It takes me hours of playing around to finally feel comfortable in front of even an audience of just J. (I like that.. Just J- something to consider Jonny). Each compliment is a shock to me and I feel a fresh reaction every time someone gives positive feedback. But I have so much to do! There is the process of writing a good song, and then finding the melody against the music, which in a freakish way comes so much more naturally than one would think. Beats? Just J working his magic.
I used to write poetry, more-so when I was willing to go above and beyond for english classes in school. It then became a hobby, and then I started to slowly not write as much. Eventually, writing would come sporadically. Next, I started writing this blog with no idea as to where it would lead. Looking back, I see that the style has changed. Even writing this now, I feel reinspired again. I miss this outlet.
I suppose that the purpose of this entry is a 'Welcome Back' to myself. For weeks I have been stuck on what could light the fire under my tuchas. I didn't want to continue with my daily routines. I have a job that I love at 19 years old. What more could I ask for?
For months, I gave you all an idea of what my life in the big city was like. I was able to archive my experience(s) and am now able to revisit the epic moments and emotions instead of letting it slip by and hang onto my memory by a thread. I feel as though those of you who know, or those of you who choose to read every entry up until now, understand the gist of my life- as fortunate, exciting, and similarly routined as it may seem. But now I want to take a different approach.
I have been awarded this amazing opportunity to live in Manhattan at 19 years old with a job that I am excited to go to every morning, and my two best friends living with me. I don't feel as though this is about what my days are like anymore. This can almost be used as a journal... with an audience. The life experience, the lessons learned on a regular basis, learning the ropes to life, learning about all of the different types of people out there, the tests, the nights where I party like a rockstar with my friends, the emotions, and overall evolving is now what I would like to archive. This world surprises me, blows my mind every day. I want to look back and remember what once surprised me before it becomes another normality. I want to get a rush when I read about an experience with raw, exciting emotions. I want to remember how badly it stung when my heart gets broken before I become immune to it.